Freaking HOT,...still?

oh my god!

Do you remember this? LOL

The days where hair gel and baggy pants were pantheon of coolness. I for one was using the cheap hairgel minus the baggy pants cause the normal, stiff me could not bear to be different from what I was at that time, nerdy, scholar with a big legs to boot. "Gotta keep the image safe and sound, no sharp eyes focused on ya coz it's frightening to be on public eye" Someone who never strike his glance at you will never come to do it then, never, I'll die of hyperventilation from my fearsome stage fright.

And then this....

You can bear to be draped up by invisible cloth in your social circle, the shadows of the population would suffice to shroud the disappearing act you were so famously known for. Yet, I was well known in away. But that's another story.

Jeremy Jordan used to be my wet dream, hmmmm, wondering whether I did jerk off from the sight of him last time? I don't quite remember. That's one of those times where I learn and experience the word 'swoon'. I remember the first time I hear the word, it was coming from the contest winner who comes out with the best in-less-than-20-words lines to describe why they love ... TOMMY PAGE!, another embarrassing-idolatry-ludicrous teenage lust. Upon reading that winning lines I began to spark my interest in word play, gradually slowly, much slower than the slowest of snails, which now, I am proud to say it has gone to the pace of a leopard in my writing propensity hehe.

Anyway, get back to Jeremy Jordan. Freaking smile still turns me on. The wrinkle you see lining the curve of his cheeks when he does that iconic smirky smile, you could just die. Not to mention at the end of the song when he bounces himself on the ring, that was just so annoyingly embarrassingly sexy!!!

OK, why am I bogging myself with a composition about 90's pretty boys? 

Coz I am jealously hating their fame, while I went through life with much ado about my own self-development without the intervention of the world and vice versa, this son of a bitch has affected so many lives like the feeble soul that is me, and now, he is just as old as me, and still doing something cool aka acting in tv, albeit less charming and cute and definitely out of the swooning demographic, whereas I am here writing a blog about him, bitching my soul away just to find an article to write about.

Damn

I wanna stop now

Dedication for Mum

Mom,

you never were a good cook, your cook is potentially bland, dad's cook was better, thing is he is not the housewife of the house,

you never send me to music class, even though I remember the day I threw tantrum in front of the cousins and relatives, that I envy their second -hand piano. I hated that you pretended I wasn;t there. I wanted to learn piano, now look at what I am.

you never bother about my academics. My excellence in academic throw your responsibility out of the window, you in turn put more concern on brothers who do not appreciate whatever you did. Now look at them, bunch of losers, working in factory wishing they would have done a better school results.

you never cared for my feeling, when I am down and when I am up, those temperature are never felt in your radar screen, it's heart-rending, I have emotional scars till these days, I never could let it go

mum you disappointed me in many ways

yet, I wanna say I love you, cause you have done your best

you have give what's a mum could give 

i have gotten what a son could ever need

i guess it's enough

I will work it out from here

Happy Mother's Day

but u tried your best

Idea: Do the fear thing and see how it fades

Ever done something u've always thought u're terrified at and eventually, sometime later that the fear was unfounded, or even u began to forget why you fear that something?

I did, I used to fear the most inconspicious stuffs. I had this believe that wearing red tie is a sign of campiness, that you are announcing to the world that you're gay.( which I am but i try to be discreet in this harsh homophobic society, sob sob). I didn;t touch this red tie I bought and thought of wearing because my feng shui master suggested so. 

I finally got the gut to wear it and not realising much, there is only one person commented about the striking color. Nobody else mentioned nor put an eye on  my supposedly loud tie. So yes, I've been wearing the red tie ever since and bought some more new ones without fear or prejudice.

I also fear public speaking. THe worse part was the time just before i went up the stage. But once you get used to it, you realize the fear is silly. Everybody is just as fearful as you if they go onstage. 

Yes I still have this stage fright, being on stage still gives me the worst time of my life, butterfly in my stomach, forgoting words, and fast heartbeat. But i believe i will get rid of it once and for all one day. Just as long as I do many enough.

Kam In YOur Face: Review

It all started with a small musical vignette of the team, Susan was there, donning her carbaret dress with fish net socks and the rest of the hot girls, some hot boys as well.

Jooanne Kam Po Po came and gave us a hell of a laughter with her ever popular stand-up comedian show. She made us all in stitches. It was 10 minutes of heaven laughters.

After that it was downhill from there.

It went on with two shows, separated by a15 minutes intermission.

The first sketch was a semi parody of CSI, CSI Petaling Jaya, name-dropping Pua, Nepal and Lingam with hit-and-miss effect.

The second was more vague, about Tom COdy? and him saving the lobe of his life Julian?(Joanne)

THe show ended with an climatic ballad from the 80's. In fact the whole show glorify the 80's. I was a child of the 80's, yet i only remember half of the songs they play. One can't help to wonder, it's been done before.

The show ended with less fanfare and laughter than when it first started, a general and usual progress of a comedy show; due to fatigue, it's usually won't have a lasting effect.

The show also have inconsistent humor. Joanne stand-up is widespread laughter, later the laughter became sporadic, demonstrating selective humor at work here.

At the ensemble applause, she was rather dissapointed that we did not give her the biggest cheer when her time to come out. Nor we should be blamed for she did not dare to come out solo. She should, it's her show...

Ideas: Devocab Excuse

What if you find no excuse to everything you want to do?

What if you could delete excuses out of ur system and start think, how do i solve this instead of i can;t do it because...

From now on, I will only think of solution finding, no barrier identification.

Movie Review: Sicko

Movie starts with one American citizen, young in his 30's living in a suburban area showed us his cut knee. He had an accident and and the gash looks like a 15cm-long scar in the making. He was seen sewing his own laceration. He said he has to do it because he can;t pay for his insurance.

Another guy, cut his two fingers; middle and ring on an accident involving a wood cutter. Because he didn't have insurance, he was given options to either attach his middle finger which costs USD60k and the ring finger USD12k. Naturally he opted for the ring cause, Michael says he's being romantic more than cost factor, a obvious sarcastic remark.

Next an old couple, after spending money on her cancer and his double by-pass surgery, they have declared themselves bankrupt an d move in to their daughter's house.

The origin to the ridiculous healthcare system in america is from Nixon, back in 1971, where he approved of privatisation of insurance healthcare company. THere's where hell began.

People are being rejected from healthcare because they don;t have insurance in America.

Yet, insurance companies were earning mullahs like no ones business. Y? Because they incentified medical doctors who denied coverage for people who bought insurance but denied medical coverage because of reasons they hunt like hitman which make Sherlock Homes shame to his knees. This is a whole unit of hitman dedicated to your health history.

Any payment to the claim is determined as a 'medical loss'.

Hillary Clinton was under a good light, which I thought was gonna boost her political leverage for she was the one who after the years of Ford, Carter, Reagen, Bush Sr, all rows of republicans except for a brief and inept Carter, began to come out with a paperwork that can save healthcare in America, to form a universal healthcare system. But she was not prevailing. Lobbies and clout from the HMO and insurance company totally squashed her work, her downfall for just a while until now of course. 

Even then, she from a anti-HMO gal, became friend to them, and got paid doing it.

The Republicans under Bush administration, approved Medicare Prescription and Drug Improvement Act 2003 which made most citizens end up paying more than they used to. After that most congressman who approve this left and work for the health industry for high salary as high as USD2mil a year like for Billy Tauzin.

Then Michael brought us to healthcare system from other first-world countried like Canada, Britain and France to see how the people being treated and how much thay pay. All of them say they either pay little or none at all. There was even a funny scene where Michael, dumbfounded with disbelieve, went hunting for a payment counter, which he found, which turns out to be the counter which pays patients for their transport! Patients were paid to get treated and paid to go home, reason being they want to make sure they got back home safe!

And then Michael found out something interesting, Guantanamo Prison near Cuba, where the prisoners of terrorism were held, are having medical care that is as excellent or maybe better then the average medical centre in the rest of the country! 

Michael, having interviewed some 911 heroes who went out voluntarily to help scour and save victims who might be trapped at ground zero, because they did it voluntarily, they were not entitled for medical treatment subsidizaton or support by the government not are they rewarded by 911 charity health funds that were set up with a USD50million size, he brought these people to Guantanamo hoping that he could get help from them to treat these groups of self-less fine men and women who became afflicted with debilitating disease from their act of saving lives during 911.

They were ignored, dangerously being taunted by siren in Guantanamo prison gate.

Having their Cuba trip being cut short, they decided to pay a visit to the hospitals in Cuba and try their luck there. And lo and behold they actually were treated like kings and queens, and get this.. they were not asked to pay!! I personally find it hard to believe, maybe the cubans trying to put up a fine facade to show the americans how good they are faring, especially from the very person whom they can count on to  embarrass american, not to mention its system and the power-that-be.

In the end i find this show a bit too on the biased side. What I want to know is what actually comes out good from this HMO system that was started and obviously voted by the people of the government, which I believe bound to have some good souls who see the good side of it. Hell, the must be a good side of the HMO for how did even manage to get to the discussion board in the first place! What is the benefits that Michael did not show?

The Cuban antique is a bit too much of a reality show. For I am sure no throngs of americans will flush to cuba anytime soon.

Michael Moore is a good guy, someone you could say the person who sees the greater good. Or the person whose Virtue preceded his natural vanity. Heck he even paid the person who boast as the biggest anti-Michael Moore website for his wife's health problem because he could not support his website anymore and end up closing it. In the end Michale Moore saves his website!! What's more winnable than a person who helps his enemy?

Criticism: 

He fudged cuban per capita health spending? Gupta says not important though, but says number not right.

France drowning in taxing, 50 billion dollar debt, wrong perception that healthcare is free

Great Ideas: Think and Be Think

I realize this paradox in life:

You watch this movie and you think it sucks, you criticize it through and through; it wasnt funny, it's corny, how did they come out with such line? they should just reshoot this scene because the actors and actresses are just not in their element!

And then you happen to get involve in a film. You did it and woe betide, after all finishing touches and editing, you realize your film is just as sucks as the movie you watched before.

Ok, it's a bit too farfetch, what about the speech that you think given by your peers, you secretly believe that they sucks, and cynically and honestly think that they probably did not prepare themselves for it(why did they not prepare for it!!? Don;t they think this is important?!! I did) And then it's your turn to do your speech, to be fair, you did prepare your best and at the stage you realize upon comment by evaluators(i am talking of course in a toastmaster periodical meeting), you realize he/she gives you an alternative, toned down, somewhat whitewashed version of "you sucks!!"

Y is this happening? 

I have the believe that  this thing we cold actually extrapolate to stuffs even that are not performance-related, like your love life; when you're in love you can;t make difficult decision when exactly the same scenarios happens to your friend, you totally come outwit ha bitchy yet sincere and apt remark and answer! 

It's the proverbial scenario of unable to see your own self from the helicopter view. You see more clearly if you are out of the picture. You are losing the forest for the trees!!

THat is the core reason to my inability to come out with a speech nowadays, I am just too overly critical.

Now this is a great idea, what if you could be two person at the same time, one inside the scene and one in the helicopter? How to achieve that?

If someone could achieve it, critics would be out of business. At least I want to be the only one to devise the secret. This would be my holy grail....

Great Idea: Understanding The Psyche of "Help"

You have problem with a certain software. You instantly look for the help tab. 

There are two types of  Help options in many software; one that comes in points form and ask you to find one, and click and then proceed to others etc, you may find some more helpful ones like Windows or Office which link you directly to the part you want. The second one is less "help"ful, the one I call ironic twist to a loser software, they just lug through the directions and expect you totally understand what they are trying to say.

So what if the same problem occur, exactly the same problem occur, one year later. If you're lucky, you are experiencing the same "help"ful option. If you're unlucky, the help options is the loser type. Even you get to the first option, you may even find it hard to move from one page to the other cause you always need to refer to the help page and revert back to the other. Well unless you have a big screen like I do, there is no way for you to open both pages at the same time.(here i am watching a tv show and typing my blog :))

What if the first time, you try to understand the psyche of the nerds who write this "help" directions? What if you try to understand how the software people arrange the pages, and understand why the ners use words like they do, like why they use "Finder" in mac whereas Windows use "Explore". Once you learn "how to fish", you won;t go lost forever if ever this thing occur.

Just take sometime understanding everything that you read, you are not needed to refer back again and again the things that you dreaded most to read.

Great Idea: Hyperconfidence

I vaguely remember the time when I was greatly inspired by a documentary or a movie, which spark this thought to me: why not have a hyperconfidence?

You know when you do stuffs and sometimes you hit a rut and you just don;t know what to do about it? You are just not inspired and you are blinded by the inner self-doubt that usually engulf you at times like this. It's like you are so in the zone that you don't see the forest in the trees so to speak.

How do we gain confidence in the first place? Does it just come about out of nowhere. Of course not. It has to be nurtured. ANd how do you nurture it then? Most of the times it is from external forces. It comes from people who tells u that you are good enough, you are the best and you have done a great job. Essentially from the things you have done in the past. Sometimes, a much less than external forces is you build it yourself. It depends on the extent to your tendency to believe in yourself. How much do you see yourself completing this task? It's a believe system which most of the time stems from your past achievements, which is somewhat external as well(you can;t be knowing how good u are unless you are told so, can you?) or that you are trying to lie to yourself. I said aptly as trying for it is not easy to lie to yourself. 

So that's how you build your confidence. Which is not very encouraging for self-confidence sounds like something like a divine intervention. 

But what if you are the divine intervention. What if you drew your confidence level too high and mighty and call it hyperconfidence. And lie straight out and strong to yourself that you could do some task which only before that you told yourself it is freaking tough. With hyperconfidence you are the bomb, and you have absolutely no doubt about getting the task done. With hyperconfidence you are lieing to yourself that it is a piece of cake and that nothing will and can stop you from completing the stuffs.

It's a bit like lying which I mentioned just now, which is hard to believe for you have your own believe system, and people just can;t lie to themselves. But it is more than that, it is hyperlying. It's like chanting to yourself that you are an astronaut so many times that your brain began to know that it's true. It's like living no room for doubts that you are not.

Hyperconfident people say this things:

This is piece of cake

Let's divide and conquer the thing

Let see what first I should do

Let's find resources to help me deal with this task

They stay in the ground but not letting the tremor scare them the wit out of them.

Cool idea isn't it? :)

Hyperconfidence

A lot of times I fear opening the blog, for I do not have nothing to write about. I am not the person who writes about what he does on the day. For whatever happen stays happen in my memory. Plus they are by my standard not remarkable. 

For example, I woke up late today, partially bruised by the rejection by a stupid move I made to a cutie, I brought him to Frangi and expect him to go home with me later for a bumpy ride. Suffice to say I blew my chances for other hot encounter when I do this dating thing in Frangi(of course dating would tantamount as ridiculous word but I think it's loosely mean the thing we do before sex, hahaha). I could have not bother to look at hot guys and cuties, instead should spend my fucking time entertain a boring brain of his, young kids, what do you expect. But, I was bored indeed and then my friends are all around. What am i do to other than to do the most naturally me-thing to do, flirt and laugh. And they love it. All of them!

Anyway I digress too much, I woke up and did swimming and then gym and cut my hair and now I am here. What can I say about my activities today? Nothing much except that I am totally pissed off by my inability to type properly without looking at the keyboard. This sucks. What happens to my coordination?

But I found out something. I could from now on, come out with ideas, like Seth Godin does with his blog! 

I mean I believe that I must come out with one great idea to practice everyday. Some of the ideas I do so habitually I actually forgot what is that idea already. The thing is I do not write down the ideas. I just usually drive my car and come out with the idea and just start practicing it. Isn't it just ridiculous that I do not write down anywhere?

So, now I have ideas to write down in my blog. To put down ideas in writing. I immortalize it and just in case someone got lucky to bump into my blog and begin to learn from my ideas and make himself more brilliant than he's was not. Thanks mostly to me!!

So ideas are coming next page. Rather than rant like Marina and bore us like most bloggers with their culinary boreventure, or some nihilists jam the band with their sexcapades, allow me to present you, Sun's Ideasssssss..