WTF

What the F?

Why can;t I write composition whenever I want to? What stops me from writing a masterpiece anyway? Why do I need to wait for 'the right time' to write one composition a day? Is it so impossible to pen or type one article a day? What so hard about it?

One time I was daydreaming about  a 'what if' situation. What if I were to be able to do whatever I can, without thinking about restrictions, would I be able to come out with ideas that's fresh and creative? This fantasizing at dusk happened when I read an article about Olympics and that Zhang Yimou, the famous director who gave us Du Jou and Raise the Red Lantern, came out with the whole concept of the opening ceremony of the Olympics which going to be aired in more than 100 channels worldwide watched possibly by 1.5billions people, not to mention the lucky 100,000 spectators who got to buy the opening tickets at as much as USD 1500 in eBay!! Well I was asking myself, why Zhang Yi Mou was picked and not the guy next to him when he was perhaps eating Mc DOnalds in this restaurant somewhere in Beijing, or why can't I be picked?

Well for obvious reason why that temporary neighbour in that most famous yellow emblem restaurant did not get to direct the opening ceremony is because he did not want it. But I want it! I want to do it because I believe I can!

Two reasons throw my case out of the peony garden paper window;

1. Zhang Yi Mou is a proven case of talent personified. He has track record which spans the time of yore, before I even heard of the word art-house to the very moment where I am itching to watch the opening ceremony of the long-awaited Beijing Olympics.

2. Most important of all, I have not shown to be talented. I couldn't even come out with a winning case of Tall Tales!! I am just not talented, period!! Why I fail to look at this is beyond me.

How could I not see this is over my intelligence level. See!! I couldn;t even see this stuff. I have not proven my own track record yet I have this split second moment for awhile actually believed that I could have done it and done a better job..

Better job! Have I seen Zhang's work yet? Not yet, the show has not even begun!! What makes u say you are able to outshine him? YOu can't even write an interesting article about this...

BUt I believe I could do it!!

Everytime I was about to do something I have the strongest confidence and urge to act on it... Until I begin, that's where the believe system gone downhill from there. Why is this thing happening to me?

WHat is wrong with me?

Is this the most-talked-about believe beyond doubt, that covers the term blind believe. Is this the famous verb unquestionable believe bordering towards cultism that motivational speakers of yore been extolling about?

I believe so. And yet I am glad I am given such gift. 

Weeds: A New TV Series Favourite

You live in a middle-class suburban house, along with normal-looking god-fearing neighbors, a housewife, with two teenage children, a proverbial happy ever after. Things are perfect until one day your husband had a heart attack and died. You are devastated and didn't know what to do. It could go all downhill from here, unless you take the riskiest venture of your life; pot trading.

That's the premise of this not-gonna-be-shown-in-Malaysia tv series, half-an-hour of drama about the life of the housewife and the people around her. Stars Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin, a strong smart lady who has to resort to Marijuana trading to support her high-flying affluent lifestyle. Her two sons Silas and Shane are two disturbed and obviously jaded kids, are the cute and boyish Hunter Parrish and Alexander Gould respectively.

Tv series by Showtime, a subsription-based tv brand which gave us Queer As Folk; a no-holds barred type of production group, which defies conservative views and delivers totally controversial subjects, like homosexuality and marijuana-trading. One could remember the lesbian softcore acts in almost all episodes of QUeer as FOlk not to mention the perennial gay sex demonstrated by the main actors in the 5-season trailblazing gay-topic tv series, QAF. 

Weeds, however, unlike QAF shows more twist and better storyline, no cliche love story and mother-son soapy conversation, managed to remain very contemporary in line with the current trend of innovative and most importantly edgy, defying and at the same time affirming realism in the life and style of American 21st century generation. This over- the-top type of drama, originated from shows like Six Feet Under, owes it success more to its ability to lasso its exaggeration factors than jumping too far into magical realm. 

In addition to that Weeds manages to captivate the fans, for its 4th year already owing not only from the strength of the main actors, also from its comical scripts and putting many dimensions to most of the actors. Silas was a disturbed kid but turned out to be  a cute and hot young man who had sex with an older lady before he even turned 18. Shane is a young 12-year-old  kid who wants to become adult to win the love of his mother. And other characters which I need to find out more later coz for now I only watched two episodes out of 4 seasons available, plus I am more interested in the kid Silas which has the perfect figure and shape for my ogling and entertainment, apart from the story of course. 

He is said to appear shirtless most of the time in season 4, and has buffed up significantly, shows very pleasantly from those two episodes; 6 and 7. This would discourage me from watching the earlier season coz apart from him more shirted airtime then, he was rather twinky by the look of google images i searched. Never the less I will try to find episodes 1-5 of season 4 as a start of my journey towards my current boy toy.