Like when I tried to say "have you gotten your paper yet?" after a long silence, suddenly a frigging motorcycles with its loud hoot start passing by you. Like when you finally got a good punchline, a baby starts to cry like on cue.
I am never good at writing, but I guess I am getting better at it, but still would I be good enough for a show? Will I be ready to write a script for my first show? I am worried, I am required now, I think I did a bad one. But I need to start somewhere.
I need to keep my thoughts flowing, it needs to get total continuous inspiration. I am not sure how to do it but this is the way. Rather than write bunch of nonsense in papers or word file where nobody can appreciate, I rather write here and wish upon wishes that one in a billion chance that someone would bump into this blog of mine and started to read it.
There are more and more blogs popping out like white discharge that chances are no one will read this but better write it anyway.
I am discovering talents which I never would have discovered if I were to do the same thing over and over again. My nature of getting bored of routine stuffs got the easy of me. Now I am writing an article. I am actually writing something. I've not been writing for a very long time. But I discovered the power of practicing and doing something with intensity.
Let me give you some example;
My recent show, Condo Cocoon was a huge success. I was given the meatiest role, the big break I was always wishing for since joining my production. And here I was, there given this role thanks to my performance during Toastmaster session that captivated the director. He was inspired by my top Play of The Lord of The Ring, that he asked to to reprise it in his play. I took it and play it hard. I know I could take this role and play it very well. But I know this is not enough. I must put more passion and intensity and practice into it. Not too much lest I get too exhausted(emotional attachment to something always makes one too deenergize). But I never take chances and at the very last seconds, things had to be perfect. It was made sure of. I made sure of that. And I ace it, well not entirely perfect but it was like amazing as I received a lot of accolades and praises. I am so proud of myself. But I know I put my best in it.
Same goes with learning to speak again. It wasn't easy but I made myself chant the Buddha word everytime I drive in my car. No radio station of music but just chanting of the Buddha name. I found out my speech capability improved. I always thought my speech impediment(inability to articulate well of words) was caused by two things; my inherent halitoris which afffect my self-confidence and my smoking pot which damage my speech centre in my brain. But I have regained some of the speech capability which I thought I've lost. Still it's not as good as before. Yet I know practice makes perfect.
This own business thing is not easy. Entails a lot of hard work. I will not take it for granted that I've got MBA, and lessons learned from MBA that I should be able to ace my work well. It takes a lot of meeting up with people and humble learning. Most learning actually takes a lot of energy. That's why people have to climb from bottom to top. Nobody can stand at the top without experiencing the bottom.
So this inspire me to take the extra mile, to trudge, to humbly take the road less traveled.
I decided to keep on writing for about perhaps I don;t know, 20 minutes to hone my writing skill. The time is almost up anyway. One more minute to go. I will do this every day for as long as I want to to make sure that I am the master of what I can become. I will not depend on other company anymore. I will depend on myself.
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