Mr Ego and Me

Mr Ego has been the significant part of my life for the longest time. Since I was young(I threw out my cousins after losing the singing competition in my room), till I was in my University (I wanted to commit suicide after failing a paper).

But there was a blip when I started my job as a product specialist. There was a long period, where I do not remember my ego caused drama. That's that place I want to explore.

Days as a product specialist: That time was a great time. Life was simple, ( I go to work, come back, play PC Games or jerk off), money was easy (I work like bulls and hit my target), friends was a plenty( I have a lot of true friends especially one whom I trust wholeheartedly), pressure was off (I did not worry about getting a partner or getting married). Ego was perhaps the most distant from me at that time.

Or maybe my ego was focused on my family. I do not know why I did what I did, maybe because my ego was just not rubbed well enough. It was a tough time of my life. I withheld pleasure to myself, and substitute those with karaoke sessions, porn and PC games. It was a great moment of my life. I lost the moment to be better.

Which I am now. I am just started to grow as a person, in my early 30's, while many have shifted to another level. I am still struggling, looking at myself in the eye of others. In the eye of others!! That's very dramatic. Very selfish, very self-aggrandizing indeed. How did I manage to reach this state?